Thinking about someone else while in a relationship reddit. Probably one of my girl friends.

Thinking about someone else while in a relationship reddit com Feb 21, 2023 · If you’re thinking about someone else more often than your spouse, coveting their company, or feeling like you may be falling in love with someone other than your spouse, you should evaluate what’s actually going on. Just because you are in committed relationship doesn't mean you can't think someone is hot, or think about what it'd be like to date/fuck them if you were single; it's called window shopping. Hi Reddit, I'm a 24M in a relationship with my 23F girlfriend, and we've been together for the past 10 years. You went there to have the affair and like a drug it feels good. Definitely one of my favorite CRJ songs ever. I echo comment someone else said there that it is delusional to think that your boyfriend will not find anyone else ever attractive even if you are in a relationship. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Background: I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years now. At the same time, I have feelings for someone else though a relationship probably wouldn't work out for practical reasons. I just don't want to go along with him while thinking about someone else, I guess. Ever since then I can’t help but think about him. If you're upset about me dating other people when we never agreed to be exclusive then that's not on me. I think you’re more reasonable than you may have previously thought If you’re wanting to fuck someone else you need to be in a poly relationship or single. No, you should go ahead and cut your boyfriend loose and let him find someone else. It mostly hurts since she slept with this guy while we were starting to communicate again. I remember thinking that "I expect my ex to do the same" at the time and had to accept the idea that my ex could be sleeping with someone else. 5 years, so unless we get to have loud, wild sex, these thoughts sometimes occur during "routine" sex. Being in a relationship is a choice, and in order for relationships to work you need to choose the other person every day. Unless the other partner expects the same and you both know it, it's disrespectful (not to have feelings for someone else, but to pursue them while disregarding your SO. Even at the low points of our relationship, i haven’t found attraction to any other man. 🤮 Even when my relationships were rocky, never did I look to other women as the answer. Honestly if my partner was thinking of a different person I would feel very self conscious and as if I’m not attractive enough for them to think about, I know that’s not true but it would hurt my feelings that he would think if someone else versus his partner. But here recently, my best friends brother started coming around more often. can’t believe this level of disrespect was deemed “normal”. Is there anything wrong with me? Why did the feelings start for someone in such a manner that I felt like I was betraying my gf(23f). The moment you start thinking about acting on it is the problem. The title says it all. I t would definitely hurt him The other problem is with my probable feelings for this person, which I can't understand yet. In my book, an outsider confessing to someone in a relationship is nothing short of an asshole, so I don't know where this whole moral obligation thing is coming from. That sent me far enough over the edge that I got pretty drunk in order to suppress those feelings. that happened after i started dating someone else for a couple weeks after a few TLDR: I caught feelings for someone else while being in a previously happy relationship and need advice I(f17) have been dating my boyfriend (m16) for 1 year now, we both are in an academic program which req us to constant work which doesn't give us that much time to spend with each other. I think the issue comes when we act on those impulses; this is what separates maturity and lack thereof. It's normal. Cut him loose and then can really start looking for what you want. I hope that makes sense. These happen. i accepted, and she just treated me worse, largely because i think she apologized to absolve herself of anything. His friends are definitely gonna agree with him because friends often think similarly and ppl tend to side with those they relate to the most. Although you might love your SO, you know you’re not “in love” with him. Might not be as strong as love but the feelings are still there, you shouldn’t be having feelings for someone outside of your relationship. that’s awful. Sometimes I feel like a burden in my relationship and she says things that makes me feel this way (probably unintentionally). AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. Probably one of my girl friends. Unresolved feelings from your current relationship could lead your next one into failure, and instead of mourning the loss of one relationship, you’ll be dealing with two potentially heart wrenching breakups. That is trash and morally wrong however you look at it. Take out these thoughts from your head and start watering your side of the grass where old familiar is at. I experimented and played with the idea of finding someone new, even while me and my ex were texting on and off. You wouldn't develop a passive crush on someone else, so hearing him talk about it makes you uncomfortable. Oct 30, 2018 · If your partner is fantasizing about someone else in a way that can be harmful to your relationship, it can manifest in a number of different ways. Having been both Person A and Person B, let me take a fairly extreme stance: Believing this will work is arrogant of A. There is also a "relationship innocence" here that you will lose if you try to find something that you already have, but with someone else. I think you have to take this transparency as him being forthright and try to not read into it. At the end of the day lots of people are attractive and there is nothing wrong with thinking someone is attractive. You’re right— it’s really not fair to your girlfriend that you’re over here thinking about another girl. When you’re “in love” with someone else, you cannot truly fall for another person. On the other hand, I lost my v to the other guy who I was also obsessed with while he didn’t give a shit about me and ghosted me. If you are with someone who expects you to pretend you have never been and never will find someone else attractive, that person is toxically insecure. I guarantee you, she has known guys in your relationship that she has that about "what if". In a partial sense, he's right—to an extent, almost everyone will have a stray thought or attraction about someone else now and again. If you think she is worth trying then, do what is the hardest thing, wait. I think if you just asked her for sexy pics she would feel flattered and very desired If you guys break up, I suggest you stay single for a while, don’t jump immediately into a new relationship especially with a coworker. I don't think you are doing anyone a favor by hanging in there out of commitment. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Someone doing that is selfish as fuck and not caring about both their "love" interest and their partner. If you could truly be in love with this friend of yours then that’s something really special. TL;DR - I've been holding on to a long-distance relationship because I want to give it a fair shot before ending it. But by talking about your feelings with this other woman, you’ve already done what many people would consider cheating. I would like to find a relationship where it’s just us two and I don’t have this intense love for my TF that I’m trying to suppress. I think about the second guy more because I keep thinking about what if we saw each other more than once and kept hooking up. You can see it if you go to my profile. I developed a big crush on another female coworker. She’s with me for a reason. In a healthy mind and relationship, they probably won't be last very long (basically you think "whoa, she's gorgeous" and then you forget about it and move on after 2 seconds). Having a feeling and following that delusional feeling are 2 different things. Best of luck, Merry Christmas. They're just nice to look at--admiring from afar. Flirting is one thing, but actually being physical with someone else while supposedly being in a committed relationship is the end of that for me. i know she feels bad, now that i ended up flipping the tables on her I did the same thing! You have to think about your current relationship and handle that first. Imagining being in a relationship with her and living in NYC with her. And I know it's not really fair because I've been seeing someone too (though not too serious yet), and even had sex with someone else a month ago. hi r/advice , first time making a thread so i hope i do this right lol. They called once but maybe more than I know of. When you are in love with someone, you are attracted to a lot of the things they do, you fantasize about them, you dream about them, you do things with them, etc… when you catch feelings for someone else, that stuff will obviously happen to them as well. Crushes when you are in a relationship are signs of things you want that are missing in your relationship. Therefore, I don't think it's fine to fantasize about others because that means you're in a monogamous relationship with someone you settled for. I know it’s wrong, and I definitely regret doing it, but not because my relationship ended, because I feel like this one action defines who I am. I’m glad you asked here tho. After a good 3 year relationship it hit me (25m) like truck when I started to develop feelings for someone else in a short notice. If he told and threesome and others thing and are not in the “contract” of the relationship and you don't share that, both have huge differences in an important aspect of the relationship that in the long run could lead to a break. If you’ve been together for five years and he doesn’t even value your relationship enough to not be emotionally attached to someone else, it’s definitely best that it be over. It is what we DO that matters. On my end, I have experienced thinking someone is good looking while in a relationship but definitely did not want to sexualize the person bc I loved my partner. There is the closeness of being with my SO, there is the physical sensation of him doing something softly pleasurable like running his hands over my skin, there is the sexual sensation of him stimulating my clit or my G-spot with his hands or his penis. The idea of liking someone, when married to the greatest woman I had ever met in my life, let me in a state of infatuation, confusion, and frustration. This is a common thing that occurs when people get too comfortable in a relationship. Eventually I grew some balls and told M about Y and ended the relationship. Cut all contact. Reply reply Really depends on your relationship, BUT I would caution people to label something so common and relatively benign as flirting as "cheating. if you want to get off to fantasies of someone else then use your damn hand instead of using your partner as a masturbatory tool while you mentally replace them with someone else. Continuing this relationship is extremely selfish. we were each other’s first serious relationship and we have been each other’s first sexually too. ) I think it's tragic that most people think this way. As you mentioned, attraction to other people is natural and bound to happen. Keep yourself distracted, everytime your mind wanders you need to immediately cut the thoughts short and think about something else. People mention your age because we all know how immature we were at that age even though we thought we were mature. See full list on aconsciousrethink. I feel like I made a mistake or I deserve someone better and that was him. We'd been together a little over a year, 4 months of which included my double life with Y. For the last 2 years, we've been in a long-distance relationship, but I fly to meet her regularly, and it doesn't feel like a big deal. Having a crush on someone else that your spouse is fine but you keep thinking about the same person and you said that you need closure while being happily married, it doesn’t make sense. She didn’t pursue a relationship with the other guy but just the fact that she was falling for someone else while in a relationship was enough for her to realize she wasn’t so much in love with her then boyfriend. One thing is fantasized which I found no strange at all. ultimately leaving me a boytoy or whatever she actually wanted to do with me. You acknowledge that you sensed something other than a platonic friendship with this person initially, and then continued to explore that to the point of holding hours long conversations with this person when you should have been spending hours chatting In my opinion you shouldn’t stay with someone you don’t have feelings for. Also because it's someone I know, and we're not talking about a celebrity that I'll never be able to approach. Background: My husband and I started dating at 16 (me) and 18 (him). i'm currently in a new relationship with someone i care about very much, but… (It turned out to be true) This also happened one time at the beginning of our relationship. In my experience if you're in a relationship and you're fantasizing about other people then you just aren't with the ideal person in your relationship. People are weird, they have ridiculous abilities to self sabotage when things are ok. For the most part our relationship is good but for the last few months I've been day(and night) dreaming about one of our mutual friends[26M] and I can feel that he's attracted to me too, every Honestly, I really think you should break up with your girlfriend and then not get into a relationship with anyone else until you are over your friend. The biggest hurdle is in your mind. I don't think you're in love with your co-worker as much as you're in love with what she represents, which is being in a relationship with someone who actually gives a damn about you. Hello everybody, I just am a little lost right now and I’m looking for some guidance. That’s the power of Reddit, you can get a solid, unbiased answer to all your questions lol. The hang out was great, better than expected, I felt heard and wanted. I also think you're being a dipshit because you're so desperate for female attention that you're low-key okay with the idea of being a side piece. You could be in a relationship with someone for decades, just because you're limerent (or forget limerent, even just liking someone) doesn't mean it's wise to break off your relationship and get with a new person. Once trust is gone, it has never really come back. but it still makes me wonder if i should stay in my relationship or not fuck no. The act is a big display of self confidence, trust in our marriage, and we indulge each other. It turns out that if you fall in love with someone while you're still with someone you love, you just might be polyamorous and you CAN make both relationships work if it is done honestly and openly. But leaving an otherwise perfectly wonderful relationship just because there's someone else who catches your eye is morally objectionable and ultimately unrewarding. Have no intention of cheating or wishing I were in bed with someone else (he's the perfect partner), it's just the novelty of it that gets me off. its been a year since i last saw him. I fell in love while I was married to the love of my life and best friend. You definitely did the right thing. Let her go and handle your business before trying to be with someone else Hi redditors, hoping for a bit of advice for something ive been dealing with for YEARS. This is a classic. How to stop thinking about someone else while in a relationship? I[24F] have been dating my SO[33M] for over three years now and I love him so much. We're happy together. it didn’t feel Find someone else who can be in an adult relationship and with whom you can see your future so put your foot down no matter how painful for you to go through the pain of the break up. I'll try not to make this too long but here goes: Went on holiday when I was 13 with my family, crushed HOPELESSLY on a 15 year old guy whose family were also on the same trip as us (It was an organised trip so we were all staying together) Our families all got on like a house on fire and we decided to all well, a while ago someone posted something similar to this. I really think this was just a symptom of being in a toxic relationship though, and I've never experienced the urge to see other people while in a relationship again since breaking up with that particular partner. attracted to someone else while in a relationship few days ago i went to a party and was drinking. How do you guys deal with being attracted to someone else while in a relationship? I'm happily in love with my SO. i dated someone two and half years ago. I won't stay with someone who's allowed themselves to be swayed by temptation. Listen you need to breakup with whoever you’re with because the longer you’re in a relationship the more damage you’re doing. I understand the situation with your current girlfriend but you can’t let someone hold you back buddy. Why would I throw away a guaranteed future for a girl I just met. If you are in a relationship and thinking about someone else then you are doing someone wrong. Trust me, you will create just a strange atmosphere which will not help you at all. I think what you're going through is innocent. I think that if you’re “in love” with someone else, you should end whatever relationship you are currently in. the second time was the ‘final time’, however we started talking again for a bit afterwards and became fwb (bad idea, i know). Being married and thinking someone else is cute is okay, so long as it stays only in your head. thats how it is, my situationship apologized to me after ghosting me for ~6 months. It's important to recognize and manage those feelings, of course, but I don't think it's fair to label someone irresponsible simply for having a crush I think this thinking is too simplistic and binary. I don’t think it’s fair to be dating while you’re in love with someone else. I recently got into a relationship, almost 5 months now, and I love her to death. He has asked me not to do it. Personally I feel that if you go into a relationship already thinking of the next, you're already set to end it. It's not as black and white as finding someone else you like, breaking off the current relationship and then the same all over again. Having crushes during a long term relationship is normal but it still sucks. And I suggest you cut contacts with the person you’re still “in love” with because take it from me (a person who’s currently experiencing your problem) you’ll never get over them if you keep in contact with them. It's true that having a crush while in a relationship is not ideal, but I don't think it's necessarily irresponsible. Someone else’s attraction/feeling towards my partner is not under her control nor is it an attack on our relationship. Don't lead your dude on. I don’t think this makes you a bad person. However I don’t think anyone truly happy looks elsewhere, you need to address that part of your relationship first. Mona Lisa), but just like beautiful works of art, I wouldn't dare touch it. People are perfectly free to date as much or as little as they want up until them and someone else agree that they want to be in a committed relationship. He didn't make me feel special, hardly took me on dates, we had so many issues and I know he's following this dating coach on Instagram I guess to become a "better partner" but it kills me to think he might be a better partner to someone else - whereas if he did that for me we would still be together. Jun 3, 2022 · Below, relationship experts explain why crushes can develop while you’re in a relationship, when these crushes cross the line, and what to do if you think your crush has turned into something more serious. She deserves someone who has their whole heart to invest. To be clear, you took the initiative to explore feelings for another person while maintaining a long distance relationship with someone else. It just makes our marriage stronger. We were into each other a while let me please preface this by saying I am NOT looking to justify kissing someone else while having a boyfriend. i can only speak for myself but i believe there’s some people that we will never try move on from. She was funny and cool and very hot, we talked for a while. After kissing someone else why would he be out until 5am? Where did they go from there? You have to ask him the questions after you gain composure, not while you “want things to go back to how they used to be”. Don't allow yourself to think about it and you'll soon stop thinking about it. It sounds like this is not a feeling you experience so it puts you off balance. Out of the subject but he also stated many different times to his ex that he was thinking about breaking up with me but didn’t. Yeah, sadly I realise that, which is why I mentioned it in the post. Among this time, I haven’t been attracted to anyone else. I have developed feelings for someone else until quite recently when I was in a relationship pit of the blue again while still loving my bf, whom I also had feelings for completely out of nowhere, and because I never acted on them on the other person, the feelings are gone now. And I'm saying this as a divorced mid-40 year old dude whose exwife cheated on with several other guys. the highest upvoted (42) comment came from a guy that stated Wow man, I'm clearly going against the grain here, but I definitely have an active fantasy life and have all sorts of situational fantasies during sex with my wife, but I really truly do not fantasize about other women. In this scenario, hit the gym = spend time with your boyfriend. ) So, guys and women of Reddit- is that a bad sign? Or a normal thing? He said it was just this one time, and I tried to play Think of it this way: were this magical woman not in your life, would you still be happily married to your wife? If your answer is yes, realize that this is a crush. Having a crush means you have romantic feelings for someone. You may think it is a drawback or a weakness or a problem, but in my opinion, as long as that relationship is a healthy one, it's no weakness at all. In a cheating situation (lying, nothing physical), he explained that just because he found someone attractive doesn’t mean he didnt find me attractive, even if we aren’t similar whatsoever. The right thing to do would have been to do nothing, say nothing, and wait for it to fade. I keep thinking about this other girl and I don’t know what to do. If you suppose that A will be able to completely suppress their feelings, without causing strain elsewhere in the relationship, without having to distancee themselves, without confusing B and without B figuring some things out on their own (especially You can't help suddenly or even eventually becoming sort of attracted to someone. true and i'm not even 100% sure this dream person is who i think it is and i haven't seen him in over 8 years so I am just cuddling w a fake dream person that my mind created to make me feel good. Nothing happened besides some flirting and joking around but ever since, I kind of can’t stop thinking about her. He also talked to her a lot during our relationship and they were good friends. We had a tumultuous relationship due to him excessively partying and treating me poorly, for the first 5 years. Recently I bumped into someone I liked (and they liked me) around 2 months ago. But, if you meet someone during the waiting phase, don't reject them. Has anyone been able to forget and move on from their twin? I don’t want to date while having intense feelings for them. I really need some advice on this and made a post but it was really long so no one really responded. You can't really control those feelings either though. I trust that she’ll turn down advances for that same reason. You invested your emotions into someone else and now don't have those to give your wife. This applies now and will apply to you for the rest of your life. I have been trying not to but it makes me really anxious because I feel bad now about every thought. In the end, and sorry for this novel, I would do anything while she is in a relationship. How unromantically it might sound, but feeling “in love” or “butterflies” die out over time if you take your distance. For me, having sex is a big salad of experiences and sensations -- emotional and physical. Carly Rae Jepsen - Your Type - It's about having a massive crush on someone who's pursuing someone else. You're perfectly fine. If you feel like you still are in love with him and you want to be with him forever great, if not, end it. If the roles were reversed, wouldn't that leave a bad taste in your mouth? You are not in the previous relationship for one reason or another. I would really appreciate if someone could read my post and give me some advice. You're waiting for someone better to come along, and one almost did. When I was IN love before that, the person I was in love with became so beautiful in my eyes no one else could compare. So my long distance boyfriend just confessed to me that he had once been thinking of someone else while I was giving him a BJ (Asked about who, then change my mind, did not want to know. It isn't fair to do what you are doing to your new girlfriend. . Either break up with your current bf and ask out the other guy. Ah. We've been dating for 2. Time to start paying back that debt to your wife and see where it takes you. You will lose more than you could gain by trying to wander. I was engaged, me and my fiancé worked at the same place. Am feeling sad after setting boundaries with the latter person. It all comes down on if you act on that feeling or not. It happened to my best friend and she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend of the time. Especially if you like someone else. Know your worth despite how much it might hurt right now, and also think about what advice you would give to someone else in the same situation. We connect very well and we’re practically the same person, but I cant stop thinking about this other girl that I’ve known for a long time. I told my girlfriend at the beginning of our relationship if she finds herself wanting attention from someone else it’s ok and normal but to please just let me go. I'd be crushed if I found out about something like that, even though there's a part of my brain that's telling me that there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a conversation with the opposite sex - which is of course not the case when attraction is involved, at least from my part. I also don't think the potential other relationship is relevant - people often see it as some kind of "punishment" of the one who broke off the ltr for it if the new relationship doesn't work out. What if my bf and I aren’t right for each other and If you're thinking about someone else your BF isn't doing his job. He says he understands if I find someone attractive or have an intrusive thought but wouldn't want me to go further with that thought. The fact that you realize having feelings for another while in a relationship is unfair to your partner shows a lot of character. Robyn - Dancing on My Own - It's about being forced to spend the night with yourself since your loved one decided to take another person home. Hit the gym. However, 6-7 months ago, I met a girl at work (23F) and developed feelings for Right now you're in emotional debt. Also, she was my first. The idea that loving a person should somehow make you never be attracted to someone else is just ridiculous. " Yes, if you are carrying on a months-long flirtatious chat relationship with someone, you are going out of bounds. But now that I'm sober I can't stop thinking about her again, and it hurts so much. Distance yourself from the guy. i wasn't drunk or anything but was pretty tipsy anyway i started having a conversation with this girl who i have only met once before and for some reason i started feeling this attraction towards her and i thought it was just the alcohol and i am in the shortest form possible, my ex and i dated for about a year and a half and we had quite a bit of issues and broke up twice. Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean everyone else is suddenly unattractive. The damage you are doing is going to be hard for her to get over. I felt horrible for still being with my ex while in love with someone else, I wanted my ex to be happy too and find love and I was holding him back. Or somehow psychologically stop being attracted to the other guy. If you stop talking to him, it will fade, no matter how intense it feels right now. I have formed a little crush on him. How the hell do you deal with these thoughts? I keep getting this image of her with another guy most of the time it’s the thought of her sleeping with someone else. I don't have a desire to cheat and I actually want to think of him 80% of the time. we were on and off for awhile but now we no longer speak. So. I think she thought that wanting it was enough, despite not doing anything with our relationship. But, whenever I see another attractive woman, I feel uneasy inside, I get intrusive thoughts, I get uncomfortable, distracted and my heart rate goes through the roof. My thoughts are based on being cheated on a couple times. Also I have been in a similar-ish Title sort of explains itself. Now, if you are in a relationship, and you are fantasizing or thinking about someone else. Is it possible to be I love with someone and think about someone else from your past every now and then? The relationship degraded so quickly after those conversation attempts that I just knew I didn’t want to be with her any more and I could sense her denial about how bad it all way. The issue is, I may have unintentionally caught feelings for someone else and I am trying to figure out how to handle it. We have our ups and downs just as any relationship does but I have no doubt that I love him. A crush is often a signal that something is missing from the relationship, and can be a positive indication that you need to reevaluate your situation and make improvements in the relationship. I think of attractive males/females as beautiful works of art (ex. tldr: I keep thinking of other people while in a relationship and want to stop I also think that if you told your partner you had a crush on someone else you’d soon lose the sparkle of your feelings about this other guy. We were together for 7 years and literally grew up together. It's hard to let go of something like that, even if it's bad. The act of considering someone else means you should be working to fix what is broken or end it and move on. I think I started wanting out of the relationship with M about a month before I met Y. Think long and hard on this and get an opinion from someone you trust a lot. . It's perfectly reasonable to set a boundary, however. It’s fine and normal to have a crush while in a relationship. Other completely different thing is to say it. We're both 33 yo and a bit over a year into the relationship. I made sure I gave 100% to a relationship, successful or doomed. She was younger then me by 6 years. Falling in love with someone else happens. What if this and what if that. If you are thinking about an ex, you still need to mourn the relationship to be able to move past it. Man, this is my biggest fear tbh. It's not an indication of you needing to break up with your boyfriend it's just an indication of your relationship is getting stale and predictable. Whoever you are with deserves your attention and not to be compared to anyone else. i’ve many dated people since him but had to end things because i never moved on from him. jlhy dhaab bgfhq rvlhwc jwk xlvs gogls gkmajb sscwkhn doaw jvseur kixz baxp wcqs hpeykc