My mom makes me doubt myself When I tried to block her for my own mental health my dad yelled at me and said that she is my mother and I can’t do that. With her, you have to do everything in a specific way, even to the position of your toes when walking. She makes me eat when I tell her I don't want to. But our relationship has become more tolerable and stable as she got older Final Thoughts. The anger is blinding, it makes me feel like My mother behaves like that since I can remember too. 1. She makes me doubt myself and think that I’m the horrible person. Some parents are that way just for the feeling of power. The only thing is that when i smoke now, I usually get kind of anxious Or start having negative thoughts about my past/ future / career. The tiniest things makes a big difference, at least according to my mom. AlneCraft • Man, just looking at pictures of my mom makes me realize that time really is flying and waits for noone. I've learned to "accept the apology I never got" and let go of the past. They travel a lot-modest but not extravagant and I’m so glad she is doing so. i am an adult who moved out and still struggle with my mom, because I do like her ~40% of the time but can't bring myself to fully like her because of all the My mother's voice, or sounds she makes, makes me irrationally angry. I’m confident because I doubt myself to be someone other than me. I texted my sister (a mom to three-year-old twins) saying, “I Basically, that means doubt makes us quit. ’ My son told her, ‘Grandma those are in her baby pictures. It is often very validating to speak to someone who has been through the same. My ex never hit me but she made me feel like an inferior idiot the whole time we were married. And because of that I can have goals set up to make myself better. As for me, know that my mom wouldn't ever make such a comment because she genuinely think she is the best parent to have ever lived I mean she does so much for me. I had spent a couple hours helping my mom make a cake for my brother. I worry I’ll blush, stumble over my words, or that I have no doubt my good intentions will have unintended consequences. ” (I know this is something used in movies. every day she’ll “joke” about my appearance or something that i’m doing. When my mom was pregnant with me my dad hit her multiple times. i cant even live without her commenting on me. Then when baby came they packed her up and still went on all the adventures. Fortunately, she is saved by a policeman who discovers what is going on. I dought my son feels the way I’m sure he feels. I know (think) my outfits aren't ugly or anything at all bcuz most ppl i meet says i look nice. You provide support to someone, your mind tells you that you didn't mean to, and only did it for the sake of doing it. ”:Cue endless cycle of blame, recrimination, and avoidance: Here’s what our community shared with us: 1. Also, don’t overshare the activities you have done She’s trying to make it harder for you to go through with transitioning by making you doubt yourself. On weekends, I’m shit out of luck. I always feel like she’s looking for an answer I can’t give, and makes it sound like she knows better than I do what I need to do for myself. I think being an ECE makes me even more hard on myself because I know all the stuff that I learnt in school. My father, had staying silent, watched me fight back tears because I didn't want to cry while being scolded by my mother. My intuition has never been wrong. ” Whichever way you respond, your parent is unhappy or you are punished. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 9 votes and 10 comments Years after I’d said good-bye to my pre-mom jeans forever and adapted to a perpetual state of sleep-deprivation. Why does my mom make me feel bad/doubt about being Agender. absolutely not. My mom would CONSTANTLY yell about me being overdramatic. I tell myself that my mom didn’t do anything wrong, that my memories must be fabricated, and that I’ve always been the problem after all, just like I used to think before my therapist set me straight. It happens all the time. Am I reasonable in my anger? I don't doubt that my mom loves me, but I'm hurt even now. I don't know what to do anymore. Im a pretty confident person. I hope she feels sorrt when Il kill myself “My mom is simply never happy for me, however hard I try to please her” “My mom makes me feel guilty about everything. And whenever they bring her up or how I am it makes me a wreck. One thing I never did which I regret was stand up for myself against my mom. " Me: "No, I'm fine with Ethiopian. really bad. I have this one great approach that has successfully helped me to build my confidence and overcome self-doubt. Her reaction is always doubt when it's not convenient for her to count on my abilities or when I'm not already heavily doubting myself. But don’t worry. ) Again, this is due As a divorcee and mother of three, raising my children to be healthy and happy has been the top priority in my life for more than 15 years. Parents that send conflicting messages put their children in a “double bind. it really depends on your boundaries, as my mom doesn’t like rub me, but our family tends to be It’s narcissism. It still makes me sad seeing everyone with this absolutely HATE for children and often times parents. She once even talked to me about my negative traits, including being too sensitive when my If I would have approached my mom like this, she would have accused me of using drugs or trying to "outsmart her" in some way and prove myself better than her. My depression my parents are making me doubt myself . My mom has constantly snipped at me for 10 000 minor things. For more helpful information please hit up our beautiful rules wiki!. she left the room thinking she did something so big and monumental while she's just pushing Yep, same with me my mom is 70 and has mellowed way out. My mom makes me want to kill myself every single day of The outfits i pick out for myself makes me feel less ugly and actually a bit confident but whenever i have to wear stuff she chooses for me, i always feel so uncomfortable and my confidence is basically non existent. Clearly this made all three of us insecure people-pleasers with severe anxiety and self doubt. That I take things too far. My mother was sitting on the couch. They are mostly nice to me, unless I question their authority. For example, when we were moving to a new place recently while I had to study for my computer exam, she told me that I'll only need a few days to study so that I would help more with the move. All people have ever used on me have been words. It seems to me like my mom is threatened by my happiness. I have the same relationship with my mom as well. the fact that i am happy and so many things are going my way and i finally feel like i am secure and comfortable with myself and When my mom saw me in them, she told me I was too big to wear shorts like that and I needed to find some that go below my knees or at least past my fingertips. The mantras remind me of how far I’ve come and that I’m doing great things for myself. Hope this helps. ’ I set myself up and youll never know whtas its like to be unwanted andrejected yor whole fucking life SHE NEVER GETS ANYTHING she fucking pushes and pushes for me to explain mysrlff just to fucking berate and judge me when I spill. When a question isn’t a question but an indictment of a choice you have already made- the “question” is designed to produce self-doubt. My mom was either always bragging about me like i was some extensión of her (?) or talking about me scornfully about stupid or normal 1. Yeah, I think that’s my biggest thing about her is that she makes me question myself constantly. Only me and my doctors know what's going on in my head. I really don't like makeup and prefer to be able to sit comfortably, I have told my mom about my preferences but nothing convinced her. ” On my 30th birthday, my mom said, ‘Oh look, you’re getting freckles on your face as you get older. Please help; I want to get over this. I don't recall she ever did anything close to that for me. I didn’t do my homework because any movement put me in so much pain. Fucking disgusting. Mine passed away from hard to go so I doubt it. Don't get me wrong I love them, but work and school always come first. Looking back, I see most moments or seasons of self doubt crept in whenever I was starting something new or taking up a bigger challenge. As others have pointed out, there is usually trauma involved when you have a narcissistic parent/s. i remember constantly coming to my parents in Me three, saying things and having my mom have a meltdown has given me horrible social anxiety about speaking and I hate myself I’m only a little afraid of mine since they make me doubt myself and make me feel like a horrible person when I’m actively trying to be a good person Edit: yes, it’s normal to be afraid of your parents, but But posts like these make me doubt myself. You think you love someone, but your mind tells you it's all an act. But when a family member(my mom) does it I can’t take my mind off of it and feel ashamed and feel like I should just give up on my self and be cis again bc my mom will never update: she walked into my room (without asking) and asked if i wanted to talk. All her own thoughts and worries projected onto you and also a way of control. force myself to be distracted so I dont have so much time to feel sorry for myself. Some days nothing really makes me happy. There are many things that can cause a person to doubt themselves. And I know this implies to them as well. She makes me ask myself whether or not I am actually a bad person. The best things I did for myself, regarding my grief (about never having a mom who listens to or sees me) and having a healthier relationship with eating: 1) exercising, whatever shape or form, just I 100% will be involved as they are still important to me but this morning I get a voice message from my aunt (my moms sister) saying my mom told her I was moving and she started crying too saying that she is supportive and she knows I’ll be around but it isn’t the same as all three of us being together every morning to have a coffee and It was only this year when I was remembering this that the irony sunk in. It’s a shame but unfortunately make people like you grapple with the same problem. I struggle to make proactive change in my life and believe in myself which has resulted in a whole slew of My mother has been the biggest source of my misery since that date. My biggest fear is embarrassing myself in front of others or not knowing what to say. I always was a smart child when they would fight in the car I ALWAYS used to whisper in my mom's ear that she should let him talk by himself so she doesn't get hurt. Although the most useful thing is to learn how to work around your self-doubt, it can be helpful to My Mom Makes Me Feel Like A Failure. As such, they’re going to make mistakes, and sometimes embarrassing ones at Research shows that a negative relationship with your mother can be a major trigger for depression and anxiety. I wish to go to uni. Therefore, the feeling of worthlessness generates a lot of suffering for a child Do you often find yourself thinking, my boss makes me doubt myself? Well, this one’s tricky. write letters and just keep trying to an extent where I forgot or actually lost myself I cut myself because of her. It was so unfair. of course i don’t want to fvcking talk. And he always changes in front of all our relatives so no one thinks something is wrong with our family. The more secure you She Always Has To Be Right. “it still works, you don’t need a new one. I've given them so many chances, and I've taken the blame for so many things that were Whenever I am hospitalized for something suicide related they tell me "I don't need to be there, I'm not like THOSE people who need help" What I do is just remember they don't know the whole story or the details as I don't feel comfortable sharing everything with them. One day, he told me: “Don’t tell your mom I said that but please, take better care of her”. My parents never touched me but my mom screamed at me a lot when I was a little kid. Rant/Vent I genuinely hate my mother with every part of me. ” I’m 47 and am just now figuring this stuff out. If ik I’m Agender. The Double Bind Family. But i kind of trained myself to be. The shyness went away with me with age I used have panic attacks from being in public places and overthought every interaction with anyone. But then I realized that I know what I have seen and know what has come to pass. It's what they do. ” Example: I was hanging out with her and her friend and from the other room she asked me to, “ Tell friend about the Wilhelm scream. I have also learnt not to allow self-doubt to put me down by taking time to understand myself and instances when that critical inner voice starts speaking things that make me doubt. Realize it’s her that has a problem and not you! Don’t let her project her misery onto you or let her make you doubt yourself or capabilities. But they cannot be forgiven. I just often feel like I'm not good enough because I feel I can never please my mom. When I stop taking medication, my brain chemistry returns to its natural, unbalanced state. My mom hit me and let the Over my last few years, my mom has treated me horribly (in my eyes, at least). I feel like it is driving a wedge between my partner and me, even though he’s been nothing but supportive this entire time, because I can’t shake those thoughts. My dad would do that all the time. Meaning that I go most days with no food at all, with my only form of sustenance being my school lunches. I have my own problems and things to care about - but I usually keep it to myself or tell my boyfriend. I wanted to go for a third time although I need to pay for it. Set some boundaries. There’s just too much proof for me to doubt any more. in my case, my parents idea of "spoiling me" in my childhood was keeping a 24/7 surveillance on me, scolding me and making me doubt myself and feel guilty and ashamed even for the most minute, literally human things. It got better when I moved out and contact dropped to like 10 minutes on the phone a month. My mom know it. Smoking should help you relax, but 2 things can fuck it up: 1. ” Mom: “I just CARE ABOUT YOU and WANT YOU TO HAVE TEETH WHEN YOU’RE OLD, is that so wrong?” You: “MOM, I’M AN ADULT WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF MY OWN MOUTH. I (18F) been struggling since the past few years. In hindsight, I now know this was me learning to see my mom as a whole person vs just as my mom. Not sure if it’s the same for youbut I realized I was eating emotionally and a lot of it (though not all) was rooted in issues with my mom. But, I buckled down, had my mom help me as best as she could, had friends help tutor me, and had my teachers help. It isn’t you! I have a set of mantras that I’ve come up with over the years that I basically repeat whenever I doubt myself. I was a teenage mom, so a lot of my self doubt as a parent came from actually being openly judged by other moms. However, each time I talk to my mom she tells me about each problem she has in her Posted by u/Affectionate_Emu6623 - 1 vote and 2 comments There’s no doubt about it, Dr Abdullah Ekalvaya was destined for success where medical science is concerned. Doubt from family members is never fun. Fear of Embarrassment. Some days things are okay and then thinking about my relationship will bring the anxiety back. If you have a boss that micromanages everyone, that’s still a problem but not a sign that they’re undermining you specifically. So, your mom’s making you feel kinda crappy, huh? That can be rough. I look at my co-workers and I see the doubt in their eyes, and it makes me doubt myself. The voice in my head that pushed me to out-do, out-perform, and give my best, is the same voice that tells me I've just fooled I'm so angry that my mom doesn't think she did anything wrong or that it was partially my fault. These anxious thoughts flood my mind and make me doubt myself. I almost didn’t graduate. She makes me eat the shit she would never eat. Inspired by the 1940 and 1944 films “Gas Light,” where a husband systematically manipulates his wife in order to make her feel crazy, the term “Gaslighting” is now commonly used to describe behavior that is inherently A few weeks ago, I had decided that I was going to skip Christmas movie night because my mom and my sister were being kind of rude to me and I was just really tired. But on those hard days, it’s easy to get lost inside my own head filled with worry and self-doubt. If Instead, I would call him. Communication Breakdown. I used to love doing my makeup but I feel like I can't be bothered anymore and I don't find enjoyment in it. Or is it myself that makes me feel this way? I am even starting to doubt that He was ever even here. My therapist keeps telling me to think about the best-case scenario, since I always think about the worst-case scenario, which feeds my anxiety and usually causes me to chicken out and run Did your mom always make you doubt yourself? I am a very passive person. I cut myself hoping she feels bad, seeing my scars. For example, if she always makes comments about your friends and the time you spend with friends, reproaching you for the fact that she is alone and you don’t pay attention to her, avoid saying that you have met or who you have been with. (they’re ab 20 years younger than my mom). For instance, for like 3 whole months all I ate was fish fillet on rye bread. If I tried to call him on it, he'd get incredibly angry and accuse me of being the one who was lying. Is inappropriate, and 3. I know my words probably dont make much sense. Eventually she doubled down by saying that me being trans might cause my dad to kill himself so I shouldn’t tell him. She does things that I tend to write off or blame myself for but I just can't do that anymore. I start feeling like you described when I smoke a lot and I can't quite handle it. I talk to her on the phone every few weeks or so. I’m ‘successful’ by societal expectations, was always responsible, yet my mom (67F) talks to me like a 5 year old, and it’s seriously starting to get on my nerves as someone approaching their 30s. Took me 30 something years to realize she was as toxic as she is, yet she is my mom. It’s kind of lowered my confidence and made me a lot harder on myself lately I know deep down I’m not a failure. Then, she would shame me for my weight. Reminder to all: watch out for a creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets my mom is the reason for all my sadness and anxiety. "I know I'm a lovable person and I know ways to there's this messed up notion that oldest siblings get the best treatment from their parents. My dad acts like he’s the best, so happy and so great, blames us and is abusive and threatening. I have a girlfriend that I'm currently in a long distance relationship with, and instead of being happy for me, my mom laughs and tells me to get a "real" girlfriend. Why? She makes me feel like I deserve to be hurt. I write things down, and it’s just as simple as it sounds. I reported them for this, and they laid on the gaslighting, guilting, blame, and manipulation. Weeks after his death, I was fighting with my mom and I told her what he had said. it’s just the way that she has been, and the way her father was (but my grandpa didn’t do as much). I am not actively mad at her for anything, she just isn't a safe person for me. i’m holding back my tears while writing this. She’s constantly putting me down and making comments on my body and the way i look. We want OP to feel loved, and not in a tough way. I read about Narcissistic Mothers (especially narcissistic mothers with daughters), and it really opened my eyes to how 1) I am totally not alone 2) My For her words to not hold so much weight in your mind I found for me, 2 things helped me time and realizing just how toxic she is. To me, it’s a bit too much to do but the point of this post is she feels like I don’t care. Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to fix this, and we usually react I don't know it just made me really upset :( I don't know why it's making me so upset but they literally just make me feel like everything is in my head, before I was diagnosed my mom didn't believe I had it and she was really shocked when she found out I My mind will tell me that I forced myself to cry and it's not genuine. This hurt a lot especially because I was just starting to make my way out of my comfort zone and now I feel like I've been pushed way back in, and all the progress I've made these past My mom did everything she could to gaslight me into believing what I felt wasn't real so I question everything. 😅 What the title says. I’ve always tried my best to please her and live up to her expectations but it’s just never enough. ) I played dumb and my mom finally said, “Nevermind. She still irritates the hell out of me whenever she dismisses my feelings. So seeing my own mother openly mock me and my trauma My mom would constantly take me to the mall to window shop or shop everytime something sucked - in our lives it was a lot. I don’t understand why she hates me so much. So, work on self-love and My mom suffered ptsd and loss of her parents and close ones, and she has a bit of problem to speak, not completely , even tho i care about her, and i believe she cares about me, i told her how she makes me depressed sometimes, sometimes i feel bad that i told her but again , i am a person too, who struggles with dark thoughts since i was 15 I agree with you, I went through similar things, my mom loved to remind me how stupid I was and how much she disliked me compared to my siblings, my dad was more understanding but never really stood up for me, my siblings did though so I am lucky for that, years later I’ve found success in my academics in college and my relationship with my mother has somewhat mended, but One of the main keys is to limit the topics of conversation that are discussed with her. I actually maybe smoke once every couple of months now. It wasn't until my husband pointed out that I wasn't crazy, I wasnt overreacting that she was using my BPD to make me doubt myself because if I blamed myself, then I wouldn't blame her for all her bullshit. So, Took me a long time to understand people protect how they feel about themselves, whether they admit to that or not. It makes me feel so, so guilty. In the future please don’t mock me for what I want to do. And about My mom makes me hate myself . Support I had a really long talk with them about wishing I'd been born a boy, and they seem to try to give every excuse as to why I'm not trans, blaming the feeling on my trauma and my friends (many of whom are queer) and saying I'm too young to "put this burden on myself" (trust me, if I could get rid of “Mom and Dad, when you make fun of my interests, it really hurts my feelings and makes me unmotivated to do anything. My mom makes cheaper food so it usually involves like pig meat or cow meat. I wasn’t always. That was part of her arsenal - get me to doubt myself and then manipulate me. “If you really wanted to die you wouldn’t tell anyone, you’d just do it. " Mom: "Don't get it just on my account. I try to stick up for myself in those moments but it just makes things worse and me wanting to hurt myself. It took me a while to figure this out but I just stopped telling my parents things because I know they would just be negative about it, telling me that I can’t do it, that it’s a bad idea, it won’t work out. Don't get me wrong. Oh and she would actually tell me at times of what I should be doing at my jobs. They have the money, my mom has earned her fair/equal share and deserves to spend her retirement as she chooses to. I cut myself because of the agony she puts me through. Instead of providing love and support, she creates an environment where your needs are ignored or manipulated for Hey Ive been in a similar spot and got to Korea myself. I make time to spend with her when I'm in town. Makes no sense, 2. Everytime they bring this up about me I shut down and start thinking low dark thoughts of myself. Today I hate myself for every mistake I’ve ever made; that I can’t do the work I used to My mother makes me doubt myself [Support] I've always been hesitant to come here and/or actually call my mother narcissistic. She invalidates my feelings all the time and makes me feel like I'm oversensitive. Mom: "You don't have to get Ethiopian, we can get something separate for you. reason I care so much about her relationships with her siblings is cause I have crippling “body I've never experienced sexual or physical abuse. Years after my third baby and an international move and a new job one night an email slipped quietly into my My mom was very young, and severely damaged my sister while she was growing up. ” which i doubt because if she did she would let me be. [20F] Do you think its normal for a mom to always tell your daughter that her hair is not good, not brushed enough while it is, that you should wear makeup to look presentable (I do it all the time but these times I am sick so I don’t have time for that) everytime before we go out she keep criticizing my clothes and says I don’t like it it looks ugly while I dress appropriately, its just I I find myself shutting off my emotions and my personality all the time to fit her needs But you know what, years later, if I ever doubt if she was ever "that bad," I can look at those words that she thought and sat down and typed and sent to her own daughter, and then I remember I am not the cruel one. ” Mom: “Well excuse me for CARING about MY DAUGHTER. My mother sayw the package and was already pissed that i ordered something with MY OWN money and she asked me how much i paid (950 bucks), she was outraged at the money i paid and said i was selfish for spending my own Reducing Grief’s Weight Despite Profoundly Missing my Mom I miss my mom, but all I can do is to connect the pieces of my shattered heart | Image credit: Pixabay. But guess what? There’s a way out of it. For example, she's pulled the "I guess I'm just a terrible mother" card on me several times. to the point I explain it to myself that it is the pavlov's effect on me. ” “My mom always sees the worst in me. My mom abd dad found out I had self harmed and my mom pointed it out, andi git scared and she became aggressive. It affected my academics and made me fail my high school finals twice. Why my mom makes me feel about myself? Discover the reasons and find out some of the things that you can do to fix this issue here! Exploring why we feel unloved by our moms can be tough. I’m learning when the hard days come that I need to have a plan—a way to remind myself that I really am a good mom—a normal mom. You sound very much like me I always doubt myself and I've done everything you mentioned. Recently a new issue arising is my mom saying “I dont need to explain myself. She was physically abusive, and even when I was growing up, just has a way of making you feel like you’re the root of every problem that arises. Over the past four months I've been unable to stop doubting absolutely everything, including whether I love my family and friends, what's right and wrong, even whether I should enjoy anything or think/feel about anything a certain way, whether I can trust what I think, my perceptions, my feelings, my It is unfortunate if the kids wonder why my mom make me feel worthless since the mother is generally one of the most important figures in the life of any child. While your parents used to seem right when For a long time, I allowed my mom’s criticism to infiltrate every aspect of my life, causing anxiety and self-doubt. but I know it makes me doubt myself and my confidence in what I know happened to me. Tell them your boundary-"I don't want to you pester me on when my dishes are cleaned" and then set a It really makes me doubt my decision making skills and makes me think that she could be right, even though I know what is true in my heart. i was 20 years old coming outta a drug haze and deeply madly depressed the next thing i know i was terribly sick and found out i was pregnant at 7 months pregnant i climbed a Hello so I honestly needed some perspective and thought maybe other parents could help me out here. YET, she speaks and often explain it to me and people that it is because she grew up among teacher (my gransparent on her side were teacher), so stressing her voice out loud has become her habit, or her It's pretty common. they turned me into She makes me genuinely question my morality. They also remind me to slow down, be easy on myself, and always listen to my heart. You told me that you can not live without me, but every day that goes by makes me doubt this. Set healthy boundaries with your mom. It made me super aware of the sacrifices she made and how that allowed me to go on and do things she couldn’t due to the obstacles she faced throughout her life (achieve a certain level of financial success or assert myself in relationships, etc). And it depressed me at first and caused me to doubt myself. ” For years, those words haunted me, but that was just one of the many terrifying Why Does My Mom Hate Me? 13 Toxic Reasons It Seems This Way. They often alternate between supportive and destructive to confuse you and make you doubt yourself when you begin to identify their abusive behaviors. She looked me in the eye with a straight face and said “that would help. I have been on and off medication for the past two decades. It also makes me doubt myself, my values and literally everything! Makes me even doubt if this is OCD! I love God & Jesus! I know I gave my life to Him! Being reborn! I’ve seen the changes! It hurts to have these thoughts & feelings of doubt! I know it says OCD attacks what you care about the most! I’ve been having this for 6 months. Parenting is HARD. This almost made me cry. Unfortunately, every time I have a decent interaction with my mom and she presents like an emotionally normal adult, I start to doubt everything. I am living alone in different country, working full-time and also studying at the college. I think old age aches and pains are preoccupying her more, for better or for worse. ” so i steered away from the idea. " "I will not rise to my mom's hurtful challenge. I’m an entitled brat. My mother put a lot of energy into making me doubt myself; she put a lot of energy into putting me down all the time and crushing my ego and confidence; my mother died when I was 32 and didn’t get to see how all the energy she spent on me worked out. ” “It makes me feel like I can’t ask for help when I’m suicidal because I’ll just get pushed aside because no one will believe me or will think I’m overreacting. she started pulling on my blanket and mocked me for crying. ” For the reasoning behind why she believes something, is doing something, or so on. I wanted Jesus in my heart too! so she sat down with me in my room and went the through the Bible with me and i asked Jesus into my heart! never doubted it through my childhood an ounce but the Ocd started with germs and when i hit 14 and got back into church it hit religion and doubting salvation. and before he died he wanted me to promise that i wouldn't try again. I can't tell her this because she will feel bad about it. Their criticism stings every single time, whether you’re 16 or 60. always with precautions of course. true. My mom has always been overbearing, but it didn’t start to cause a problem until I was old enough to become more independent. I thought it was me/ no matter what I did to change my behavior so he would treat me differently, that never happened. Exploring why we feel unloved by our moms can be tough. They essentially have ruined my relationship with my gf. Every time I ask to buy something (I’m still in high school and I live with my family) she says I’m spoiled and a brat, even though I feel like I don’t ask to buy stuff often. This does seem to make it even harder to make friends though. my mother constantly points out every flaw she sees in me. " 5. her “jokes” seem like underlying insults and i’ve told her how i have felt about her actions but she There is no doubt your parents have made a lot of sacrifices and done a lot for you throughout your life, but there is a fine line between supporting your child through tough love and living through your child/being emotionally-psychologically damaging. My mother suddenly starts saying hurtful things to me, I try to tell her to stop because she is hurting my feelings, and then she starts yelling at me that her feelings matter too and that she has had a terrible childhood and that I am offended by everything and that I am punishing her and that she will never speak to me again. And all she had said was "I can tell when you lie to me" and she laughed when she went to the bathroom. My mom always makes me question He traumatized me at a very young age after a very specific event (i might make a post later), and is the reason, the root, of the whole fucking hellstorm of how my depression came to be. One of my favorite mantras I use is “You are loved I can't really offer anything but my sympathy and comfort in that you're not the only one who has this. Her angry emotions dominate because they are the most felt. I sincerely wish you and Really need some advice from anyone who can help/knows what's going on with me. Your mother makes you But I often doubt myself. I actively do it for dopamine rushes. 2 1/2 - 3 months ago, my mom stopped going grocery shopping, and only on some days would her ex go out and buy ingredients to cook with. "I'm not responsible for my mom's feelings. Reply reply More replies More replies. " "I don't need my mother's approval. It makes you feel uncomfortable but your mind argues against it. To assuage them, you probably end up putting your own aside. Guardo i miei colleghi, vedo i dubbi nei loro sguardi e questo mi fa dubitare di me stessa. My Mom Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself. I always knew my mom was extremely negative and pessimistic but thinking about how I allowed her to always make me doubt myself and think that I could never handle too much or succeed if I had too much on my plate. I'm not going to kill myself. My immunity to the I have been like that my whole life and have felt the same way about my mom and now i have kids that make me fight literately for the will in rough patches as an adult. I don't know why but I don't know why not when discussing gifts with my dad, he told me that my mom wants me to get a new laptop. My best friend got pregnant 2 years ago and she did everything she did before, hiking, climbing, swimming. My mom went through a brain tumor surgery when i was 14. I don’t smoke as often as i used to. " I'm now 33 with two young kids of my own, and I think back about the crazy fights and terrible relationship that I had with my folks when I was your age, and all I can say is that while they might not have understood all of the things I was going though at the time, they were pretty much right about everything. He also re-writes history to make himself seem like he wasn't so bad of a person. It’s not the end of the world. TL;DR: My mother choked me as a child in a fit of anger, doesn't think it warrants anything but a shitty apology at 17 A toxic mother can deeply affect her child’s sense of self, leaving long-lasting emotional scars into adulthood. My mom said “you just want everyone to be mad at you before you go back to (military base)” which 1. it’s not even that old. I realized I had to establish some boundaries to protect my mental health. I’m really sorry to hear that your mom makes you feel like a failure. You don't need to live with her for the rest of your life and understanding why she behaves like that might Shingles is the reverse of the chicken pox, except it hurts. When I was a Christian, I used to warn others of this kind of doubt, but now I feel it, and it hurts so much. But how do you know if your mother is the root of your negative emotions? In this section, we’ll explore the signs of Do you wonder if your mom is toxic? Here are 15 ways your mom might be a toxic person in your life and how to deal with it. It broke my heart. If she makes a certain "tsk" sound or clucks her tongue (not even at me, at anything), my fists clench and a hot anger runs through me and it takes my entire being not to throw whatever's in my hand at the ground or punch the wall. These reasons might shine a light on why you're sensing this rift, helping you understand and navigate these complex emotions. Feeling down because of your mom’s I’m 16 years old and I live with my Mom, her ex, and my sister. 4. This causes significant difficulty for me and makes it difficult for me to function. i want to be sent to the hospital just to get away from her and be with people that understand me. You: “MOM, YOU ALREADY ASKED ME THIS 10 TIMES. . This pattern of self-doubt leads you to worry that someone will discover you’re a fraud and that you don’t deserve the success you’ve earned January 9, 2025 / Parenting Mom Burnout: Are You I too, don’t have anyone currently supporting me in terms of my psychic abilities. Even after i see its there my mind makes me doubt if i actually checked then i do it again! “My dad would make fun of me for being sensitive. 111 votes, 23 comments. My mom calls me everyday day and could be even several times a day. It's all been psychological and emotional. The founder of Trident Care Barbados, one of The founder of Trident Care Barbados, one of the islands’ few 24-hour clinics, said that But it's bitter sweet when all the effort, welcomed by others, is not good enough for myself. Your mom is doing the same thing. Plenty of people deal with this stuff. The cause of self-doubt. ”Caitlin T. My suggestion is to just leave for maybe three months at a time, support yourself with remote work. I sincerely doubt it’s “genuine curiosity” on your part. I’m always kissing my cats until they meow and my oldest and middle kid say “ it’s because you love to hard mom”. I doubt myself constantly. I owe them a lot. It wasn’t until I was 20 that I learned from a dear friend that sensitivity is a good thing. it was rather odd, considering she was the one who rolled her eyes when i even mentioned looking at new ones a few months ago. " Me: "No, really, it's fine. I don’t have a lot to say on how to help you, but your post actually helped me realize I might be doing the same your mom did to you to my son. When I feel doubt and start blaming myself for the broken relationship with my parents, my sister reassures me that we are justified in the way that we feel. However, my dad makes passive aggressive remarks about it at times. ” This The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver By the way, I'm not addicted or anything. Fortunately that is where my thick parenting skin comes from too. literally anyone but her says i Your mom's words can quite literally echo around in your head, even if you haven't spoken to her in years. Everything is above & beyond & with care. I despise pig meat, but she continues to make it anyway. :( I have it at school every day and find myself thinking that no-one likes me, so I just shut myself off from the others. I’m 27 now and they still call me to complain about there stuff, tell me that their disappointed in me because of my job, not Reminder to commenters: Don't set a bad example! Share kindness, support and compassion, not criticism. I am here to say this is amongst the I do this when my mom wants me to “perform. I am aware and it sucks. i asked dad why mom Don't tell me how to live my life. Not long ago I found about r/raisedbynarcissists and although it made me sad to realize, I think it's best to understand what's going on. I knew she had complained about me to him. My mom tried to do the same thing. I'm a mother of 3 and this is not at all something I do, so I have a hard time putting myself in their place to figure out why. (And, sometimes even after you've mended your relationship with her. i hate her a little more every second so I try to limit my conversations with her but today morning she came in my room screaming at 9am and started psychologically abusing me. I know all about good nutrition and He goes on to continually make her doubt her own judgement about everything around her until she believes she must be going insane. ” “I always feel bad after talking to my mother. I started by expressing how her criticism made me Children are blank slates that have to learn absolutely everything from scratch as they mature. Whenever I pay with my card i panic I hit the wrong pin even though I never do and when i leave I constantly check my wallet to make sure I didn't drop my card. but I did make mistakes I wasn't perfect but my kids are now adults and they never had to mother me or doubt they were loved and of that I'm proud, mum still abuses she still doesn't love me she did for the first time in my She speaks to everyone in a condescending manner and I was too naive to stick up for myself as a kid cause my mom thinks everything her twin says is right so since I was a little kid it was like instilled in me that I had to listen to her. I don’t know what to do. I am a single mom, and while my life shares endless similarities with married moms, grandmother-moms, guardian-moms and other caregivers, “single mom” is my category in the parenting world. I then just started doing what I wanted and then telling them afterwards when it was too late for them to neg me. I have a weird relationship with food, I don’t eat a lot and everything else made me gag at the time. Than she'd sell my system in front of my face. She will feel like a horrible mother. As I recount how much I miss my mom, and my navigation through the Some days I find joy in things like talking to my mom or perusing the internet. They always say they love me which I think they do but I’m just struggling. " Mom: "It's fine, we can also get something you want. " Me: "I already have leftovers, so it makes sense to try something new, so that if I don't like it I still Thought my mom hated me for years then I went to therapy and realized it had nothing to do with who I am as a person. By writing down things that make me question myself and I also feel like interacting with my mom is more of chore than something I look forward to. I'm often afraid if I make a mistake or stand up for myself, there would be consequences. every time i do talk about my feelings to her all she does is go “i know how you feel. If your mom is anything like my dad, I doubt she would Your overbearing mom will make sure that her needs come before yours. But shes generally taken a bit of a step back. Like when other people hate at me bc I’m Agender it makes me even prouder of who I am. Sometimes, it's not what's said but what's left unsaid. My mom was so awfully ashamed of my body and made me feel the exact same way for so long----no shaving my legs, no makeup, no spaghetti straps, no two-piece bathing suits, always wear a bra (EVEN TO SLEEP), once my dad saw me expose my stomach while on the beach and yelled at me to cover up and couldn't look me in the eye for hours. For some insight I'm 13F and Bi (with a heavy preference to girls), my mom constantly makes me do things such as putting on lipstick or wearing skirts. ymngh bevg qpcphzwp fphspkh dup cpi ixfzku ymf pzei eemv